“The Village ” 22.8.11

Thomas Conroy, lost his cool, closed down his ex-box and then stomped across his bedroom towards the far window where he tried to work out where the brass band music was coming from. He couldn’t see anything of the band. Yet, he could hear people clapping and cheering between the tunes.

He moved the curtains to one side for a fuller view of the cemetery when two kids around his age just stepped out from behind two tall gravestones and started waving and beckoning him to join them. Usually there was always something going on with visitors near or around the Catholic section not then, there weren’t! The whole place was empty except for the two youngsters and the music of the brass band.

Arnold the gravedigger was the only on the Church of England section, who was waiting in front of an open grave. Thomas went to wave back at the youngsters but they were gone. He looked and looked for the two but there was no sign of them. Arnold was still leaning on his spade while waiting for the funeral of that morning. From out of no-where a line of people wearing party hats were doing the okey cokey while other groups of older people were now dancing to the rhythms of the brass band playing: “In The Mood”

To Wigan via Reykjavik

“Children are still being killed in the war in Croatia!” said the two Police Officers being interviewed on the B.B.C. Radio program: “Who Cares?”

Then he really hit us with: “We believe some have even witnessed their parents being executed!”

I wanted to say something but couldn’t think what.

“So we are looking for volunteers to help us load the wagons and we still need more money or supplies to help those families out there. You can see it yourself on your TV that the war is still raging.”

I was showing them out of the studios when I thought I would ask - knowing they’d probably say maybe next time. I thought I would ask anyway: “I’d love to come with you?”

“We’d love to have you join us. We are leaving in six weeks.”

“I’ll be ready.”

Ev, my immediate boss at the Radio Station, said “I don’t want you to go. It’s not for you, please don’t go.’”

………….

“Who is going to look after you; if you are ill?” screamed my wife. “Do they know about you…. Have you told them?”

…………

Bombs were thudding in the far distance from where we were all standing with rest of the convoy on the Slovenian – Croatian border. We were nervous as to what we were going into with this; the biggest humanitarian convoy ever which had all been organised by the various Police forces around England.

About three hundred Police Officers, Medics, Support Workers, Journalists and then me the Poet in Residence for the B.B.C. “Who Cares?” radio programme climbed back into our fifty or so articulated wagons between borders on that summer morning of June 1993; ready to go in……

……………

September 1948. No one really knew Thomas Edgar Street even though he had worked in Hesketh’s Cotton Mill for nearly thirty years. He wasn’t weird or anything like that; he just wasn’t talkative. His job was stoking the fires deep in the ‘fire-hole’ below ground level where very few entered except for maybe the police or such like who brought in dead dogs or cats to be ‘got rid of’ in the fires. .

……………

Catherine Conroy was alone on the outside wall of the cotton mill eating her dinner when Thomas Edgar Street walked over to her and with out even saying hello asked: “So when is the baby due?”

“In four months.”

“Is it right you jilted him at the altar?”

“That’s right. What on this earth has it got to do with you?”

Christmas 1948. Being a Christmas baby; Mam had planned to call me Gabriel or Noel! Then Uncle Peter suddenly died a fortnight before. So, she pushed me into the hands of a Wigan mid-wife in Billinge Hospital around one o’clock, Christmas morning and re-named me Peter. For eighteen months, she coped with the loneliness, name-calling, and the abuse from other local women who didn’t even know her. She accepted that, but to have women from her own village who she had shared nappies, knickers, nylons and lipstick with, became too much, especially when they started to shout out: “How’s that little bastard of yours?”

She now understood why the other single Mam from her village ended the abuse in the cold waters of the local canal? Mam never understood why it was her so-called friends from childhood. Women she had worked on the ammunitions with. Women who had lost boyfriends and husbands to the Germans. Women who had stuck together and supported each other through what ever and they did support each other except when a new born baby out of wedlock was involved. Then everything changed!

dear Bloggers

This last week has been memorable - out of the blue i met two old work mates, We were part of a team of gravediggers and exhumers in the middle to late sixties. There were originally eight of us. Yes, it was an odd, but wonderful job to be involved in; and i suppose all of us were in some strange way outcast. In the eight there were a couple of bare-knuckle fighters, an Al Jolson impersonator who used to take to the stage two maybe three times a week. There was a dark haired six foot five giant with a short fused temper. A four foot six strong man who was nearly as broad as tall, who used to drink his weight in beer nearly every night and then he'd be as fresh as a daisy the next day while digging nine foot deep graves. There was one who had the hair and a slight look of Ginger Baker from the Cream pop group, there was me: the baby of the lot, epileptic with touches of autism such as dyspraxia. It was a wonderfully, sometimes hilariously funny job - some times sad...

STILL BORN

For Jenny

I piss on my hands

To ease burning

From blisters and from frost,

Steam in a warm few seconds

dies of cold.

I’m tunneling underneath

A family headstone,

Stacking

Cubes of oil-black clay

Onto the wooden staging as

Black beetle funeral cars creep in

Between angels standing either side

Of cast iron gates;

I take from Jenny her baby

And slot him under

A list of names

Into Dearly Beloved Grandfather’s arms

To Wigan via Reykjavik

Part One

Chapter One

“Children are still being killed in the war in Croatia!” said the two Police Officers being interviewed on the B.B.C. Radio program: “Who Cares?”

Then he really hit us with: “We believe some have even witnessed their parents being executed!”

I wanted to say something but couldn’t think what.

“So we are looking for volunteers to help us load the wagons and we still need more money or supplies to help those families out there. You can see it yourself on your TV that the war is still raging.”

I was showing them out of the studios when I thought I would ask - knowing they’d probably say maybe next time. I thought I would ask anyway: “I’d love to come with you?”

“We’d love to have you join us. We are leaving in six weeks.”

“I’ll be ready.”

Ev, my immediate boss at the Radio Station, said “I don’t want you to go. It’s not for you, please don’t go.’”

………….

“Who is going to look after you; if you are ill?” screamed my wife. “Do they know about you…. Have you told them?”

…………

Bombs were thudding in the far distance from where we were all standing with rest of the convoy on the Slovenian – Croatian border. We were nervous as to what we were going into with this; the biggest humanitarian convoy ever which had all been organised by the various Police forces around England.

About three hundred Police Officers, Medics, Support Workers, Journalists and then me the Poet in Residence for the B.B.C. “Who Cares?” radio programme climbed back into our fifty or so articulated wagons between borders on that summer morning of June 1993; ready to go in……

……………

September 1948. No one really knew Thomas Edgar Street even though he had worked in Hesketh’s Cotton Mill for nearly thirty years. He wasn’t weird or anything like that; he just wasn’t talkative. His job was stoking the fires deep in the ‘fire-hole’ below ground level where very few entered except for maybe the police or such like who brought in dead dogs or cats to be ‘got rid of’ in the fires. .

……………

Catherine Conroy was alone on the outside wall of the cotton mill eating her dinner when Thomas Edgar Street walked over to her and with out even saying hello asked: “So when is the baby due?”

“In four months.”

“Is it right you jilted him at the altar?”

“That’s right. What on this earth has it got to do with you?”

Christmas 1948. Being a Christmas baby; Mam had planned to call me Gabriel or Noel! Then Uncle Peter suddenly died a fortnight before. So, she pushed me into the hands of a Wigan mid-wife in Billinge Hospital around one o’clock, Christmas morning and re-named me Peter. For eighteen months, she coped with the loneliness, name-calling, and the abuse from other local women who didn’t even know her. She accepted that, but to have women from her own village who she had shared nappies, knickers, nylons and lipstick with, became too much, especially when they started to shout out: “How’s that little bastard of yours?”

She now understood why the other single Mam from her village ended the abuse in the cold waters of the local canal? Mam never understood why it was her so-called friends from childhood. Women she had worked on the ammunitions with. Women who had lost boyfriends and husbands to the Germans. Women who had stuck together and supported each other through what ever and they did support each other except when a new born baby out of wedlock was involved. Then everything changed!

August 1952 when Thomas Edgar Street approached Mam again, this time it was with a bizarre deal. He needed someone to be his live-in housekeeper: laundry, cooking – that sort of thing. Mam accepted, but on her terms. Terms she wrote down there and then while sitting on the outside wall of the mill, she wrote in pencil, on a rough piece of paper and then signed it near to her bag of chips and a pot of cold tea! Neither knew anything about each other – but it was one of those moments and Mam grabbed it with both hands.

October 1952. It was a register office marriage which Mam, being a Catholic, didn’t really recognise. But it’s what he wanted. Yes, she wore the ring – but that was as far as it went! There were two witnesses: myself ( in law didn’t count) who suddenly changed from being Peter Conroy to Peter Street and the only really close friend Mam had: Abrahana a young Dutch woman who had escaped the Nazis with her baby in arms, Kathleen, who was just four years older than me.

………………

I had a wonderful childhood: strange, but wonderful. Strange in the sense my Dad, Thomas Edgar Street, was nearly sixty years older than me. Even stranger was the lie my Mam and Dad lived while in the house I grew up in: a large four bed-roomed Victorian house on Blackburn Road, Bolton. To the outside world they were an ordinary married couple with all the usual problems of a nineteen fifties working class household. Wrong. For a start Mam was from an Irish Catholic family, who had witnessed the burning of Cork by the Black and Tans.

memoir